The date has been set, but you – the groom – is uncertain about your role in the planning. Nothing new here, I see it all of the time as a wedding planner. However, there are some emerging wedding trends that are groom-friendly and fit for grooms of any age group. 2020 is going to be a good year for grooms.
Boss brides are sharing the planning process.
More and more brides, women who own businesses and building careers, are releasing some of the details of the big day, and enlisting the help and input of their grooms. Mature brides are aware that being bridezilla is not only stressful but misfocused energy. Thus, an increase in destination weddings, intimate gatherings, and personalized ceremonies that combine the traditional with whatever works for the couple’s unique personality and love language. Be prepared to help. Be prepared to know what you want too.
Intimacy that reflects the relationship.
Smaller gatherings are making a comeback. Brides and grooms are choosing to host intimate weddings and receptions that reflect the most personal part of their own relationships. Family, friends, fraternity and sorority besties, and supportive professional friends are the priority and while guest lists are paring down, the event itself is taking on the form of dinner and cocktail parties as well as activity-based weddings at yacht clubs and places important to the bride and groom. The focus is on the couple and the circle that supports, which makes it super groom-friendly. One of my favorite weddings to plan was held in the couple’s home in the evening, it was a formal affair (tuxes and evening wear required), a celebrity chef cooked a sit-down dinner followed by flowing champagne and cocktails and dance party. We ended the festivities with breakfast. It was the couple’s way of saying thank you to the people who meant the most to them.
A return to some old school traditions.
Back in the day, your grandparents or even parents married in the living room, a pastor’s study, or at the justice-of-the-peace (courthouse). They wore beautiful day clothing, got married without a lot of fanfare, but saved their energy for a party that celebrated the marriage. Money-savvy couples are choosing this option to save money to purchase (or furnish) a dream home or take an extended honeymoon tour abroad. The beauty of doing things in any one of those old school ways is that you can do so on a small or large budget but with much less stress.
Vibing with style.
It has been refreshing to see grooms express themselves with color and style on their wedding day. I predict 2020 will mark a turning point in how grooms dress and bring a more colorful and festive expression to formal wear and suits. More and more grooms are discovering that they are not wed (no pun intended) to the traditional rented black tux and are choosing custom suits and dinner jackets in a variety of fabrics and styles for them and their groomsmen. Grooms with exceptional taste add to the wedding aesthetic as opposed to diminishing it. Just make sure the colors are compatible with the wedding theme.
Celebrating heritage and culture.
You’re Creole and she’s Geechee. Can you imagine how wonderful that celebration can be? That is a celebration of heritage that shows a respect for lineage and tradition. It can show up in food, music and ritual. It can show up where you host your wedding and reception as well as the time of day. I am noticing that my clients are infusing more of who they are into the overall celebration, and I suspect I will see it more in 2020 and in the years to come.
There is one last ‘trend’ to consider.
Thinking about money and weddings and receptions can be stressful with or without the help of a planner. Work out a self-care plan with your partner. You should do something together and even treat her to a self-care day at a spa. What makes this groom-friendly? It is something you can do without permission or worrying about it interfering with wedding day plans. Who is going to protest a massage or some time to watch the sunset while sipping wine? In fact, some brides and grooms are giving their wedding parties day spa treats for their participation.