Jaleel White Opens Up About Uncomfortable First Kiss on Family Matters: ‘That Was Weird’

Jaleel White, best known for his role as Steve Urkel on Family Matters, has been speaking with media outlets about his new memoir, Growing Up Urkel.

During his stop on The Breakfast Club, he opened up about his first kiss, which happened on the set of the hit TV show.

While the story could have been seen as funny or awkward, it really shows the double standard in how society, both then and arguably even today, treats men in uncomfortable or boundary-crossing situations.

White, just 13 at the time, recounted a scene in which his character receives a kiss from an older actress during a live taping. During rehearsals, the kiss was just a peck. But with the energy of a live studio audience, the actress took things further, surprising the teen with what White described as “the whole shebang.” While he managed to stay in character, White admitted he was overwhelmed, later retreating to his dressing room with tears down his face.

“That was weird,” White recalled, sharing that he never kissed a girl before. When his father and the executive producer asked him what was wrong, he explained, “She put her tongue in my mouth.” The response was laughter from both, and when White returned to set, the crew greeted him with jokes and high-fives, one even saying, “She put it on you, young fella.”

White rationalized the moment, saying, “That might have been yucky the way it went down, but apparently I’m going to get a lot more of that.”

If the roles had been reversed—an older male actor surprising a 13-year-old female co-star with a passionate kiss—it would have definitely been a big deal, rightfully so.

Charlamagne Tha God jokes, “Let’s start the Men Too movement…what’s her name?”

But White isn’t bitter and doesn’t want anyone to harass the actress. He understands the double standard.

“No, don’t do that. Do not find this woman. Do not troll this woman at all. No, I’m serious. That’s one of the things that I’m very protective of. We have to embrace what double standards were, leave them in the past,” White explains.

As a society, we’ve made progress in recognizing and addressing inappropriate behavior. However, men and boys who experience uncomfortable moments often don’t receive the same attention.

Stories like White’s show how these experiences are often trivialized, treated as a joke, or even celebrated, leaving little room for men to process the emotional impact.

Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic)